Positive Thinking

According to my nifty Oriental Trading calendar today is positive thinking day.
I've been a believer in positive thinking for quite awhile now.  Many years back when the depressions was really bad, and I was very close to just offing myself, I realized that a big part of the problem was my attitude.  If I kept thinking that everything was crap, then there was no way anything was going to change.  So I determined to change that attitude.  I embraced positive thinking.  I started by coming up with a list of 100 things I was grateful for, figuring that if I could come up 100 things to be happy about then the world, and my life, wasn't all bad.  After all, what goes around comes around, and what you put out into the universe comes back to you three fold. That decision was enough to pull me out of one of the darkest times of my life.  I've been a believer in positive thinking ever since.
It hasn't always been easy.  Back when I made the decision to embrace the positive I had Steve around to keep going.  When Steve died the only thing that kept me from following through with any of the various plans to willfully shuffle this mortal coil was my promise to him that I wouldn't, that, and the very real fear that I'd screw it up big time.  I've tried it enough times to know that killing yourself isn't the easiest thing in the world.  The fear of ending up as a vegetable is not totally unfounded.
This most recent bought of negativity, the loss of the best job I've ever had, is seriously testing the positive attitude.  But, so far, the positive is still holding.
It's not all bad.
I am, conditionally, employed.  I have been offered, and have accepted, a job with Macy's.  Just waiting for the background check to clear.  I'm not sure, but there appears to be some sort of problem with that.  Got a call from them yesterday to confirm that I had completed all the necessary steps online so they could complete it.  I double checked and it says that everything is done.  Last Wednesday, when I went for the interview they said it would take 5 days for the background check to go through.  But I don't know weather to count the 5 days from last Wednesday or if I should restart the clock from Monday.  I'm going to wait till Friday and if I haven't heard back I'm gonna call and see what's up.
It's not much of a job, part time at $8.00 an hour, but it's something.  I'm still submitting apps. and completing testing for various positions.  Hopefully something will change soon.
For now, I'm gonna think positive and believe that everything will work OK.
Today, I'm messing with the internet service, again.  Clear just doesn't work with the Roku, so I can't watch anything on NetFlix and some of the other channels don't play smoothly.  I'm trying to get service set up with AT&T.  We'll see how that goes.  If I have to go back to Charter, I'm not gonna be a happy camper.  $60.00 a month just for the internet sucks.  AT&T will be $14.95 for the first year and about $30.00 after that.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  I'm waiting for them to finish setting up the service.  Hopefully this will be the last of the computer/internet problems...
But, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
Compared to many, I'm not that bad off.  I still have some money in the bank and the possibility for employment in the near future.
So happy positive thinking day!