Most will know this as 'blank slate'. It's an old idea. To which we ascribe many meanings, and which will summon many different images. Cuz we all have our own image of concepts, our own unique internalization and representation of the thought. Only a telepath can over come this, and I haven't met any of those in my time. I've met people who could sympathize, and even empathize, but none who could think my thoughts or feel my feelings. Thoughts and feeling can be shared, but each individual is alone with the internalization, and each internalization is different.
And I have no idea why I'm tracking that tangent....
Which brings us back to the 'blank slate'. Which is what I have right at the moment.
Last week was a bit of a roller-coaster ride, what with Con. and death occurring in such proximity.
Still adjusting to the change in the household.
The job is still too new to be used to. It's a challenge adjusting to the schedule. I was up sewing till 2am this morning. Tomorrow I've gotta get up at 3am. The schedule isn't regular enough to force me to fully adapt. I've got too many nights when staying up till 2am is an option.
The job is interesting. Last week I got to arrange Jim Shore Christmas collectibles. All sorts of angels and Santas and snowmen. Yesterday I played with towels and redisplayed Yankee candles. My supervisor likes the way I arrange things. Just wish it paid more.
But today I'm left to my own devices and I'm not really sure where I want to go with this day. I need to finish the front lawn, do laundry, clean the kitchen, etc...
I'm working on a doll. I could just devote my day to that.
There's lots of yard work to do.
I could blow it all off and go to the Zoo...
Tabula Rasa...
Which more accurately, according to Wikipedia, is erased slate.
Thinking about that...
Every new second is an erased slate. I could decide in the next second that I'm gonna pack the animals off to the Humane Society, sell the house and everything else, and go bum around Europe.
One of my favorite crazy ideas.
I could do it.
I won't, cuz that first step causes me no end of grief....
But, I could.
I could change my life in any number of new and interesting ways.
Just wish I knew which way to change...
Since I can't run and find the one who loves me, I'll have to dig myself out of this funky white space.
If I could just remember where I left the shovel...
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