Return of Spring Pictures...

 I've been keeping up with album pages!

Click on one and a nifty slide show pops up....

Catching up....

March 15, 2016

Maybe.
I'm kinda aimless today.
The last 3 days I've had hard deadlines to meet with work, things that had to be done that day.  My next job isn't due till Sunday, so there's only a little pressure there.
Of course, I've got a ton of things to do here, at home.  But, the motivation has not crept upon me yet.
So I'm sitting here wasting time on the internet....
And thinking....
It's spring in the middle of the U.S.  Yesterday was 80 degrees.  There's a possibility of snow on Saturday.  So things are still a bit in limbo.  Not in too much of a hurry to plant stuff.  But I'm thinking next week is a good time for planting the cold weather stuff.  It's time to think about pulling out the duck pools.  All the little song birds are back already, so I don't think we've got much more winter left this year...

That was yesterday,

March 16, 2016.

It continued to be a rather aimless day.  I got some stuff done around the house.  But I wasn't focused on anything in particular and time kept catching me up.  The effort was rather scattered.  I got organic material, AKA leaves and old clippings from the yard, into a couple of the onion planters.  I'm waiting till next week to do any planting.  I got some of the laundry done.  I thoroughly cleaned one corner of my room.  I cleaned the window and wiped down the shade, wiped down the wood work and everything.  I built a cat barrier for the top of the bookcases.

Those cubes are about 17 years old.  Steve and I bought them back in the early 90s at Sam's.  We figured they'd be a good option on a limited budget.
We figured right.  These things were some of the best money we ever spent.  They've been used inside and outside as shelves, tables, planters, and barricades.
Which is the present purpose.  I need something to keep Giles:

 Off the top of the bookshelves.  When I moved the room around he discovered that he could jump from the dresser to the top of the bookshelves.  Since I use that space, he was becoming an annoyance.  We're waiting to see if this keeps him down.  Waiting to see how long it survives.
Could all be on the floor tomorrow...



I wiped down the washer & dryer, and cleaned all the gunk out of the bleach thingy.  I uploaded a post, took some pictures, figured a work around for the graphics.....
And wasted time.

So far today, I've finished cleaning out the garden, moved a corner shelf from the out building, cleaned it up, and put it in the pantry for the big pots and pans, and finished another load of laundry.
And now it's later...
I went and did the one job I had outstanding.  That was about four hours out of the day.  The next few jobs don't open till Sunday.  Next week will be busier than this week.  I've gotten a few things done  I've got a couple of planters for onions started.  It's been a little windy the last few days so they're sitting out on the table waiting for dirt.  The weekend is not looking good for outdoor pursuits, so they'll sit there till next week.  I cleaned out the window box in the garden.  It needs more dirt too.  We're getting things prepped for the season.  Kathy started cleaning the garden out, I finished that this morning.  Her Pop came out and got the old tiller started.  So we're ahead of where we were this time last year.
The current roster of inmates is:

5 people

5 dogs

4 horses

I'm too tired to try to figure out how many cats

or chickens

3 ducks

2 rabbits

1 turkey

1 pea hen

1 rat

I think that's everybody.

This is, of course, subject to change.  Every other weekend the human count goes up to 6.  One of the reason I'm not even attempting to figure out how many chickens there are, is, we've got new ones upstairs.  There will probably be more.  We are planning on getting some turkeys...

March 23, 2016

It's been an odd week....

Who says holding a treat with the camera works?  Not with our pack.  I'd hold the treat up, they'd all settle and then, just as the camera was going off, Juno moved, then Luna lost focus, Perdy tried to grab the treat, Doeman wandered off...
Dusty was the only one who stayed where she was through the whole thing.
They're lucky they all still have a happy home.
Couple weeks back I was in the kitchen one night, washing grapes, and I hear...

Perdy

Perdy- The Great Dane

And Juno- The little, brown Bullshit....

Juno

She really is a Bullshit. Part Pitbull, part Shih tuz.
She and Perdy have a thing.  They get along really well.

But, on occasion, they have had some serious discussions on the concept of personal boundaries.
They started one while I was washing grapes.
I yelled at them and scrambled to shut off  the water, grabbed a towel, yelled at them again as I headed towards the living room.  I rounded the corner of the counter and heard a thud, and then silence.  Got to the living room, and the only dog in sight was...

Doeman

Doeman laying in the bedroom doorway wagging his tail, where he'd been the entire time, I'm sure.  He's too lazy to start, or participate in, any malarkey.
The room was in what we call theater lighting.
Long ago, Steve and I discovered that a few strings of colored Christmas tree lights are perfect for watching TV at night.  They give you enough light to see what yer doing without the glare of room lights.
So it was kinda of dim and it took me a second to see the big screen TV face down on the carpet.
Dam Dogs.
Everybody, But Doeman, was cowering in the bedroom.  I could tell by the degree of head hang and the velocity of tail wagging exactly who had been involved in the incident.
Dusty...

Dusty

 

Was in her usual place on the bed.  Head up, tail still.

Luna

 

Luna had her tail between her legs, but she met me at the door her head was down, but not hanging.













 Perdy was trying to hide behind the bed, head hanging low and the tail wagging a mile a minute.  Juno had opted to go sit in the cage.
Which was a good choice at that moment.  Lucky for the two of them, the big screen is fine.
That's the first time, and probably the last, that I've been thankful we have the ill-fated light blue carpet, and not hardwood floors.

I worked today.  So I've been out and back.

Things are kinda rough right now here at HappyDale.  We lost Enos the turkey on Monday.  He ate something that really didn't agree.  He's buried under a straw bale out behind the garden.  He was a good boy, not too territorial.  He'd posture and puff his feathers, but that was as aggressive as he got.  I think he thought my car was some sort of mutant turkey.  If he was out when I left he'd chase my car.  We had hopes of breeding him, but it just wasn't meant to be.
The rest of the birds seem to be doing pretty well.
They were out enjoying the weather the other day.

Egg production is way up.  Which is a good thing.
We're facing the end of winter squeeze of big heating bills and the fall out of my slowdown at work.  Money's tight and things are a bit unsettled right now.  We're hanging in there.  We've got a start on the garden,  We've got a batch of new chicks.  The weather is getting warmer.  I've thoroughly cleaned a bit more of my room.  The cat barrier is still on top of the bookshelves.
And the daffodils bloomed really nicely this year.  So, it's not all bad.

56 Pictures….

Jethro July(?) 2013 - April 11,2015

R.I.P. Beautiful Boy

April 12, 2015

Yes, I’m sitting here, still weeping over the Dam cat.  I’ve got a little bit of weeping left to do, and there will be a bit of weeping over that cat far into the future,  He was a special soul and I will sorely miss him for a long while.

It’s 11:20 and I have to work today, so I know I’m not going to finish this now.  But I’m still drinking the first cup of coffee, I’ve finished with FaceBook for the morning.  Just not in the mood to be really social right now.

Yeah, I know.  But FB really is an introvert’s idea of social.  I make contact with people all over the world on FB.  I keep in touch with family and friends through FB.  I’ve had some good conversations on FB.

But this morning I’m not in the mood.

Jethro’s passing has put another hole in my heart and all the other ones are oozing again.  I’m missing Steve and Stonzie and Ashron and Tyche and the list could go on a very long time….

But that’s not exactly what’s occupying my thoughts at the moment. 

That’s what I’m feeling, and my thoughts are occupied with that.

I’m seriously hurting right now.  I’m sitting here with tears running down my face.

Those that have never loved and lost an animal will not understand that.

And that’s fine.  For those I’ll add that I’ve loved and lost more than my fair share of humans too.  As I said, it’s a new hole and it opens up all the others.  I’ve got a lot of them….

And some are bigger than others.

And some are older and well healed.

And the question that pops to mind is how do you keep on moving?

I really wrestled with that after Steve’s passing.  I’ve always been inclined to just call this whole life a Mulligan and move on, no matter what happens at the end.  If I off myself and there’s nothing more, at least it will be over.  If there’s nothing, then that means there’s no heat ache or worry or physical pain.

That would be relief enough.

But…

I haven’t been allowed out of the pool yet.  I’m still here and, despite my best efforts, still reasonably healthy.

If I’m ever diagnosed with cancer, I’m gonna smoke a lot of dope and let it eat me.

But, with my luck, the dope would cure the cancer and I’d be no closer to the end….

Ah well, I’ve gotta get moving.  I have a job due today so I have to work.

More on that later…

April 13, 2015

Yes, I’m sitting here weeping over the cat again.  Can’t help it, he was a special cat and he was a big part of my days for the last year and a half.  If he were here, he’d be sitting with me, or wanting to make his daily visit upstairs, rattling the door to get back into this part of the house, telling me the water dish was empty…

And yes, I’ve got to work today and tomorrow, but Wednesday is looking like a sleep and binge eat day….

I’m struggling here.  There’s been so much packed into the last week.  In hindsight a whole string of occurrence is weaving into a fairly massive synchronistic boot to the head.  I do a lot of driving for my job, So, I’ve had a lot of time to think, and not do much else, the last couple of days.  Keeping to a single train of thought is difficult for me at the best of times.  I’ve got several STRONG currents tugging at the stream of consciousness right now.  I’ve been pondering the power of music, which is a long wide stream for me.  It’s a concept that has popped up in the fiction I write….

And rarely finish….

But that’s a sidetrack I’m not wanting to explore right this second…

I’m missing Jethro, so he’s on my mind.

Musings on the true nature of the multiverse keep creeping in…

And I’m still on my first cup of coffee….

How do I go on?  That is the question.

And the answer is really very simple.

How do you not?

I’m still here and still breathing.  What am I gonna do?

Suicide, while a viable option in my book, tends to be a rather negative jolt to the universe.  I’m totally committed to the positive side of things.  I’ll admit, for me, it’s always been a struggle, but I persevere, and though I really do think the world would be a better place without me, I’ve got strong evidence to the contrary, so….

I found Jethro in the window well out behind the house on my last trip out with the dogs Saturday morning.  I was gonna walk them around, let ‘em do their thing, get them settled in the house, and head out for the day.  Actually it was Dusty who found him.  We came around the corner of the house and she immediately went to the window well.  I wouldn’t have even noticed without her.  At first I thought he was sleeping.  But he didn’t look up when I called.  He didn’t get up, stretch, and greet his dog…

I knew he was gone before I felt how cold he was.

Kathy heard me call him and asked if I’d found him….

I got the dogs back in the house and we all went out and fell apart.  We all knew what a special soul he was. We’d all recognized that in his earliest days.  He was one of THOSE animals.

And only the true animal lovers will understand that.

I can sum it up in; cats are cool, and Jethro was a cool cat.  He really was an animate ray of sunshine.  Always sweet tempered, he loved everybody.  He went upstairs almost every day to hang with the upstairs cats and the rabbits.  While he was an avid mouser and I was a little worried about him and Leonard, I was confident that once Leonard is big enough to be out of the lunch category, I wouldn’t have to worry about Jethro.

But now I’ll never know…

We all fell apart.

I’m still feeling bad about not dragging his fuzzy butt back into the house Thursday morning, and then forgetting that he was out till after the big storms passed through….

Shoulda, woulda, coulda…

Didn’t.

But we all sail through our lives oblivious to what is right in front of us.

Cuz, hindsight is golden and looking back there were indications that his time with us was drawing to a close, and I think he knew that, if we didn’t.  I truly believe that things happened exactly as they were intended to.,,,

But that’s another side track and I have to move.  Weather I want to or not.

And that is how you keep going in the wake of all tragedies, large and small.  I went out and worked Saturday, cuz I HAD too.  I had a job due.  I had to go finish it, same with yesterday and today and tomorrow.  I have to keep going and get these done.  I need the money.  I have other mouths to feed and responsibilities to tend.

How do I deal with the pain?

I blubbered like a bitty baby all the way from here to Granite.  I blubbered like a bitty baby all the way from Granite to St. Peter’s and I blubbered most of the way home.  I’ve sat here crying in my coffee for 2 days now.  I’ll be sitting crying in my coffee for more days to come.

How do you deal with this?

The best way is, don’t.  Don’t ‘deal’ with it, feel it.  Let the tears fall, laugh at the inappropriate moments, sit and stare blankly into space, sleep, move when you have to, and repeat as often as necessary.  Don’t judge yourself for what you feel, just keep moving and being and feeling.

And remember to pause.

I’ve been going through pictures, that’s where the title of this post came from.  I have 56 good pictures of Jethro.  Doesn’t seem like a lot.  But then I consider that I don’t have that many good pictures of Steve.

And I only have a handful of pictures of Stonzie and she was with me for 17 ½ years…..

Pause and share the chance moments with the people and animals in your life.  Pause and look at the beauty around you.  Listen to music, look at pictures, do something that makes you feel better.  Pause, breath deep, and realize that this to shall pass.

Be very consciously aware that all things pass, both the good and the bad….

Cuz you can't get it back when it's over.

Shot to Hell...

That's my day.

I'm having a 'not far from my own bathroom' day.  Waylaid by the irritable  bowel.  I stay home on days like this.

And that has included not going out for fun things, as well as calling off work.

Luckily, I don't have to worry about the call to a supervisor now.  Taking today off will make for a couple of longer days over the weekend, but I've got nothing due today and time for everything on my schedule.  So no worries there.

I know to the 'you work unless yer dying' crowd this seems like a cop-out.  While I could regale you all with graphic descriptions and a high gross out factor, let's just say, it's never good to feel yer insides, especially not the copious feet of inflame-able tissue packed into yer abdomen. I've already done the extra shower and change of cloths for the day and really, really don't want to be 30 mins. to an hour away from the house if that is necessary again.  Nobody's ever paid me enough to deal with this crap in public.

While I sit here pondering how to salvage something positive out this crappy day....

I've been listening to The Plain White T's.

I really like 'You Belong'.  I'm hooked on the sound of the song; the beat and blending of the voices and instruments.  I like the lyrics.  It makes me feel better.

And that sparks thoughts on the power of music....

And the whole positive/negative thing...

And there's at least 3 posts in there...

Really not sure which one this is going to be yet...

Cuz there's a whole lot here.

Listening to 'Pause' makes me grateful for all the times I've blown off things I should have done to go and do things I wanted to do.  Like the beautiful summer day years ago that Steve and I blew off classes to go out to Northwest Square and see an early movie.  We went to 3 movies that day, had dinner at Steak N' Shake.  Killed time between the movies just walking around the mall, browsing, enjoying time with each other.  We really didn't have the money to do it, but we did it anyway.

And now it's one of the best days I can remember...

And there are many days I'm glad I paused and enjoyed.  They are positive things that lift me up when things are bad.

Cuz, I know that this crappy day is stressed related.  The past few days I've been letting the worries and setbacks get to me.  Had trouble sleeping the past couple of nights.  Letting myself get all bent out of shape over the lack of money...

And today I'm being forced to pause and consider...

It's good to pause and be mindful of the good moments, the moments when you want to stop the world and linger.  Pay attention to every little thing there, set the memory deep.

But, it's also good to pause in the moments of adversity.  To pause, breath deep, and realize that as bad as it is, it could always be worse.  Be grateful for all the bad things that could have happened, and didn't.  Remember the good things in your life, and know that there will be more.

Lately, I've been feeling the lack of big, 'want it to last forever moments' in my life.  There really haven't been a lot of them the past several years.  But in this pause, on this beautiful spring morning, after indulging in some serious puppy therapy, I realized I have a lot of little pause worthy moments everyday.  Watching the birds out my window, visiting with good friends, seeing the flowers bloom. listening to good music, these are all the little things that make life worth while.

And I'm grateful to have so many of them in my life.

And on that note, I'm going to go and try to be productive....

More pictures....

Just some more pictures I've taken over the last several weeks....

Leonard is settling in.  He's rearranged his cage a couple of times.

He spends his time looking for a way out.

Everybody spends time looking at him...

His first time out of the cage was a shade traumatic for both of us.
He jumped.  I jumped.  He scurried and I fumbled.
He ended up on the floor, behind a rolly chair, under the laundry.  He finally stopped jumping and let me pick him up.  I held him for a bit.  He buried his face in the crook of my elbow and eventually calmed down.
At least now he knows that I will save him and take him back home...

That's Steve.  He's still in the black box.  I haven't found anything that suits him better, yet.  Still looking.  Stonzie is in there with him.

My Mom's Collie Dogs.  Those are about 60 years old now.











It's still chilly enough for snuggling.  That's Riley and Dusty.

Dusty and Juno.

Sundance and Jeb.










Hope's been out and about....

And so have the birds...

Tom Traveler in his usual spot on the steps.

Riley still wants my chair.

Bonfire Day!!

Last Saturday, to celebrate the spring thing, and a couple of Birthdays, we had a whomping big fire over at the fire pit.

It rained all day Friday, the wood was soaked.  But Kathy and the kids built a pyramid earlier in the day.  Saturday was partly cloudy, so the wood had a chance to dry out some.

We started about sunset.

With an old recliner for kindling, it lit fairly well.

We had the pleasure of a red sunset.

 You know, the whole red sky at night thing?

It was a delight.










The fire burned exactly the way it should have.

Burning down and falling in on itself, it blazed the whole night with a minimum of tending. and some nifty fire works.

There were marshmallows and hotdogs roasted.  S'mores were made.  There was dancing in mud puddles and pony rides.  We sampled the new flavors of Peeps.  There were: Sweet Lemonade, Sour Watermelon, Blue Raspberry, Bubble Gum, Party Cake, and Mystery Peeps.  We found out that fire toasted Peeps are not so hot.

And Rose...

Loves Peeps



















I liked the Sour Watermelon and Blue Raspberry Peeps.  But nothing beats the plain old Peep for me, they're still my favorites.

We also tried the new Jack Links Peppered Sausage, and found them very tasty.  We'll have to see about getting them for the next fire night.

It was a great fire and a good night relaxing with friends.  A fitting way to welcome the season of regeneration.