Early, but it ain't bright...

It's early and I'm already running out of time...
It was a busy weekend.
But, all the tomatoes have been washed and sorted.  Those that have a hope of turning red are in a box or a bag.  The rest are ready for processing into fried, roasted, or pickled treats.  This is the first year that I'm trying to use up the green tomatoes.  In prior years I've just given them away.  This year we're going to experiment and see what happens.
I made about $30 bucks off the yard sale, which isn't too good.  But it's very good considering that I had no traffic at all.  Only about 10 people stopped.  I got enough for a tank of gas, though.
Next week I'm gonna go out to the flea market.  If the stuff doesn't sell there it's going to Goodwill on the way home.  I am not bringing all that stuff back into the house.  It just ain't happening.  I like having space at the end of the bed.
It really sucks to be working and still unable to pay the bills or put gas in the car.
Well, my time is up for now.  I gotta get dressed and start moving....

It's been a busy week...

I've been in lady's intimates.
At work.
I've been working in the lady's intimates department, putting out the stock.
And Monday we moved the department around.  We started at 5am and moved fixtures, stock, everything.  To make room for the holiday explosion of the sleep wear department.
Don't let it fool ya, all that flimsy, lacy stuff is heavy, and plushy robes are an interesting weight lifting challenge.  We had most of the fixtures moved by 10am.
I came home Monday, took some pain killer and collapsed on the couch for awhile.
I didn't stay there too long.  Had an invitation to a rib dinner Monday evening.  It was good.
Tuesday I worked till 2:30pm, flashing my knickers.  I also dropped my drawers quite a bit...
My task for Tuesday was to move a display of underwear from a floor fixture to the wall.  Keeping panties on hangers is not the easiest thing in the world.
One of the vendor representatives that came in to help with the move was just as tickled by word play as I am.  We traded one liners about droopy drawers and such all day.
I'm almost done reorganizing my movie collection.  That took up a good chunk of the end of last week and the weekend.  I decided to put the movies into binders.  This will take up a lot less space in the living room.  It doesn't sound like much of a task till you take into consideration that I have hundreds of movies.  I use a numbering system for identification.  So each movie had to be removed from the case, numbered with a Sharpie and put into a sleeve.  Then I had to deal with the art work and box the cases.  It was time consuming, but will be worth it in the end.  Now I can start on moving the living room around.  Still not quite sure how it will end up, but I've got some ideas to try.  I want to get the couch away from the big window in the front.  I'm tired of dealing with the dogs and the curtains.
Wednesday I worked and came home and cleaned.  Yesterday I did laundry and ripped up the garden.
Now I have a pile of green tomatoes to deal with.
Last night I reorganized the yard sale crap.
Today I have to get moving and go get a permit.  Doing a yard sale today and tomorrow.  Hoping to get some cash to help pay the bills.
Tonight I will finish cleaning and sorting green tomatoes...

I don't like being back here....

I got paid today, and I'm still broke.  This living paycheck to paycheck and juggling pocket change to cover expenses, running with the car on fumes all the time, paying bills by the shutoff notice, sucks.  I really don't like being back here.  The day is quickly coming when I will have more shut off notices than money.
Last month's water bill is paid, the refrigerator is mine for 4 more weeks, the car is insured, and the animals have food.  Can't get much more mileage out of the bank account right now.  Keeping fingers crossed that gas will last till next Friday.  I'm all out of change and there aren't enough cans to turn in yet.
At least I had a taste of what it's like to have enough money to cover bills every month.  There was a short while there when working one job was enough to keep me going...
The job hunt has stalled a bit.  Macy's has upped my hours a trifle.  Adapting to that, and other things, the last couple of weeks has side tracked the search.  But I got a notice from Ashley furniture yesterday, informing me that they were perusing other candidates.
I interviewed with them over a month ago.
Come on guys, if you aren't going to follow up in a more timely fashion, save yourself some money and don't follow up at all.  Like I'm gonna sit on my ass for a month and just wait for that letter....
Move on, I already have.
And in moving on...
Please, all you lazy ass people who don't really want to work...
Don't.
If you aren't going to show up on time for the job once you get it, don't even bother wasting everybody's time and applying.  I haven't worked a day at this job yet when at least 3 people were late.  Why anybody puts up with it I don't know.  There have been several people on my shift who haven't shown up on scheduled days, that are still working there.  I don't get that.  Used to be, you didn't show up, didn't call, you got canned.
Heard one of the higher ups say the other day that they were annoyed with the people claiming to need a job and then not showing up when they had it.
I can sympathize with that opinion.  Realize that it costs money for some company just to hire you.  It's a waste all around if you don't show up when you get the job.
And I could really use the hours these people aren't showing up for.  I find it very annoying to hear my supervisor, and others, talking about people who were scheduled and didn't show for shifts that I could have worked.
I also find it annoying that half the people I work with move at half speed.  You are paid to work, not stand around and flirt and shot the shit.
All right, I'm done with the mini-rant.
Luna, Chicken Dog, has developed a phobia about the kitchen.  I still haven't figured out what is causing the problem.  She's OK heading towards the back door.  But coming back into the house has become a difficult thing.  Since it's the same bit of house both ways and nothing has changed in that area in months and this only started a couple of weeks back, I've got no idea what is bothering her.  I've moved several things around.  But nothing has helped.  She still finds it a stressful thing to come in from the back door.  Since she willingly follows me to the back door every time I let Dusty in or out, or when I move laundry or go into the utility room, this is a problem...
But it's one she has to deal with herself.  I can't move anything else in that area.  The refrigerator is, hopefully, not moving, and there's nowhere else to put the stove.  So, she just has to deal.  I ignore when she's back there whining.  She eventually makes a mad dash.
It's October, and I've been digging through my collection and scanning Netflix for Hammer and American International horror films.  You know, the ones that used to play on the Saturday night creature feature.  The ones staring the likes of Vincent Price, Boris Karloff,  and Peter Lorrie.  It's that time of year...

Tabula Rasa....

Most will know this as 'blank slate'.  It's an old idea.  To which we ascribe many meanings, and which will summon many different images.  Cuz we all have our own image of concepts, our own unique internalization and representation of the thought.  Only a telepath can over come this, and I haven't met any of those in my time.  I've met people who could sympathize, and even empathize, but none who could think my thoughts or feel my feelings.  Thoughts and feeling can be shared, but each individual is alone with the internalization, and each internalization is different.
And I have no idea why I'm tracking that tangent....
Which brings us back to the 'blank slate'.  Which is what I have right at the moment.
Last week was a bit of a roller-coaster ride, what with Con. and death occurring in such proximity.
Still adjusting to the change in the household.
The job is still too new to be used to.  It's a challenge adjusting to the schedule.  I was up sewing till 2am this morning.  Tomorrow I've gotta get up at 3am.  The schedule isn't regular enough to force me to fully adapt.  I've got too many nights when staying up till 2am is an option.
The job is interesting.  Last week I got to arrange Jim Shore Christmas collectibles.  All sorts of angels and Santas and snowmen.  Yesterday I played with towels and redisplayed Yankee candles.  My supervisor likes the way I arrange things.  Just wish it paid more.
But today I'm left to my own devices and I'm not really sure where I want to go with this day.  I need to finish the front lawn, do laundry, clean the kitchen, etc...
I'm working on a doll.  I could just devote my day to that.
There's lots of yard work to do.
I could blow it all off and go to the Zoo...
Tabula Rasa...
Which more accurately, according to Wikipedia, is erased slate.
Thinking about that...
Every new second is an erased slate.  I could decide in the next second that I'm gonna pack the animals off to the Humane Society, sell the house and everything else, and go bum around Europe.
One of my favorite crazy ideas.
I could do it.
I won't, cuz that first step causes me no end of grief....
But, I could.
I could change my life in any number of new and interesting ways.
Just wish I knew which way to change...
Since I can't run and find the one who loves me, I'll have to dig myself out of this funky white space.
If I could just remember where I left the shovel...

This is perverse...

Last Monday I collected all the squirt bottles in the house for a cleaning and refilling.  I had them set around the house in locations where they would be easy to reach, quickly.  They are for the correction of inappropriate feline behavior.  Always handy to get the cat off the bookcase.
As I was getting ready to refill them Thursday afternoon, I realized I didn't need them anymore.  Anya was the only cat in the house indulging in inappropriate feline behavior.  Oz rarely leaves the floor.  His worst habit is sleeping on the rug in front of the toilette, and he's learned to move when I go into the bathroom.  Ash is rarely in the house.  When he is the only inappropriate thing he does is try to grab food off my plate, and he hasn't tried that in a long time.
With Anya gone, I don't need the squirt bottles.
The other day I left the back door open.  It was a nice day, there was a good breeze, and the dogs could come and go as they pleased.  The only reason I had for keeping the door shut was Anya.  Ash pretty much demands to be out most of the time.  Oz wants nothing to do with the great outdoors.  Anya was the one I didn't want going outside.
Tuesday, I washed the blanket that was on top of the other blankets.  I kept an old blanket on top of the other ones so Anya wouldn't get them dirty.  She liked to lay on top of the stack.  Which I was OK with.  That her usual route for getting there was across the top of my dresser didn't thrill me too much.  Now I don't have to worry about the stuff on my dresser getting knocked around or off.  I won't have her looking down at me from the shelf in the washroom.  I don't have to worry about what hangs at the front of the bar under that shelf anymore, cuz she won't be using it to climb up.  I keep an old, ratty jacket in that position.  She put a lot of snags in it.  I don't have to worry about keeping the sheets and towels on the shelf in the bedroom packed so tight she couldn't curl up on top of them.  I can untie the string that's holding the back cabinet shut.  She won't be going in there anymore, or pulling anything more out of it.  I won't have to rearrange the little rubber duckies on the desk shelf every few days.  I won't be cleaning up sand from the desktop Zen garden anymore.  I don't have to worry about where I set things now.  Don't have to consider if it's completely stable or it's something the cat can knock off.  I can leave thread spools sitting on the table for more than 5 minutes.  I don't have to worry about anything ending up on the floor as a cat toy or dog chew.  The next time I work a puzzle I won't have to worry about covering it up or leaving the pieces out on the table....
I could go on, and I'm sure things will occur over time to add to this litany.
WHY DO I MISS THIS CAT SO MUCH?!
When she was on my lap, she wasn't happy if she couldn't sink a claw in somewhere.  She was a knead-y cat, persistent despite endless correction.  She had a bad tendency of snuggling up and then sinking teeth in.  She truly and honestly earned the title Demon Kitty, and the name of an ex-demon.
For those who are not fans of Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  Anya was named after a character on the show who debuted as, Anyanka, a demon big bad.  At the end of that episode her power center was destroyed and she was left a mortal teenager in Sunnydale.  Watching her try to order a beer is one of my favorite bits from the show.  She, like her namesake, was inappropriate, annoying, and, sometimes, downright mean, but endearing and sympathetic enough to become a major character.
Anya, the cat, was cute and could be cuddly.  She made me laugh.  Watching her play was one of my favorite things.  The house is too quite without her.  Rotten cat.

Well, I've got things to do today and I have to be at work 7am tomorrow.  I think Macy's really wants to keep me.  Yesterday my supervisor was asking if I was considering staying with the job or if it was only a
seasonal thing.  I told her the truth.  I would consider staying with it.  I actually like the job.  But, right now, it's a job, and if I can't support myself I will continue to look for something that will.  If I find something better, I'm outta there.  I need something better than $8.00 an hour.  I could see the merchandising at Macy's growing into something better, but I can't really wait for that.

I'm considering going out to the Occupy St. Louis action.  I really want to go over there and camp out.  But I'm not prepared to do that, yet.  I am going over there sometime today.  Just to see what's up.

The other thing on the slate for today is a memorial campfire in Marc's honor.
And I really want to go out for that.  At least for a little while.
I knew Marc for about 14 years.  We didn't hang out all that much.  Maybe once or twice a month, lately.  But sitting around in his living room talking about... pretty much everything was one of my favorite things.  It was always fun, even when he was watching wrestling.  Knowing that I'll never do that again is very depressing.  I'm really glad that I saw him a week ago Thursday.   I don't have the regret of not having seen him in over a month.  I count myself fortunate to have that time.  Marc was an intelligent, sensible, compassionate, funny person.  Just knowing he's not there has made the world a bit dimmer.

I've been feeling a trifle paralyzed this last part of the week.  Left to my own devices, with nothing immediate to take care of, I'm being slow to move.  Don't know how this day will run, but I've got to get it started...

Time to get serious....

Believe me, nobody wants to do that less than me.
But, the circumstances are beyond my control.

Check out this article from Monday:

Long road from farm to fork worsens food outbreaks

Now, I have to wonder about that.  Cuz really, most everything sold in the produce isle at the store I can grow fairly well in my backyard.  There are some exceptions, cantaloupe not being one of them.  Why is getting food from the farm to the table such a problem?  We used to be pretty good at it.  Since the turn of the last century, when we started checking and regulating things we've kept a large portion of our nation fed and healthy for a very long time.  I haven't checked the history, but I don't recall too many tainted food stories before a few years back.
So, what happened?  Last century we had a good system in place and most people got good, fresh food in their local markets, and this century we can't manage it?  Really?

"Increasingly with agribusiness you have limited producers of any given food, so a breakdown in a facility or plant or in a large field crop operation exposes thousands because of the way the food is distributed," says Dr. Brian Currie, an infectious disease specialist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York.

Ah yes, now I understand.
Big corporate farms are not a good thing?  What a shocker.
It used to be, back in the day of mom and pop, those much maligned oldsters.  There were a lot of small, independent farmers.  These farmers traded directly with the consumers of their areas, or at least no more than 3, maybe 4, levels of local middle men.  Things moved pretty quickly from the field to dinner plate.  Since their were lots of smaller farms people grew a wide verity of things locally to offer to the market and you could pretty much get whatever you wanted.  We operated on that model for decades and with a little oversight and tweaking here and there it worked, and people didn't die.
Now with the advent of large corporate farms things that are grown down the street are getting shipped half way round the world, and the land around you grows 1, maybe 2, different crops.  Things have to be shipped farther and farther, and people are getting sick.
We really need to rethink this system.  I, for one, will seek more and more to get my food from local sources.  I already deal with small, local businesses for some of my provisions.  It's time to see what else I can find.
I would really like to know where my food has been.

Up and moving... sort of...

I'm up.  Gotta be at work at 6am.  So I'm up.
And my fingers are moving...
It's amazing how much presence 1 tiny little cat could have.  The house seems empty without her.  She would have been in here trying to jump in my lap, or on the bird, long about now.  Anya was a bitchy little thing but she kept life interesting and was a good snuggler, when she wanted to be.
Marc's funeral is later today, at the crematorium.  I know where it is.  That's where I had to go pick up Steve...
But I'm good at loosing people and things.  I've got a lot of practice at it.  I'll absorb and adapt.  I always do.
The real problem I have is never fully investing in anyone or anything while they are here.
I probably will never fully move in to this house.  I have some stuff that hasn't been out of the box since I moved out of my mom's house.  It's stuff that I really don't want to loose.  So it stays in the box, ready to go.  When it's time to move, I grab that box and I know it's all there.  I added Stonzie's puppy stuff to the box the last time I moved.  There's stuff in that box I'd like to have out where I could see it, but I don't expect I'll ever take it out of the box.
So far this has been a strange morning.
But my time is ticking down.  I've gotta get dressed and motor...